Mean Marauders
by alyssialui
Summary: Remus is the new kid at school and gets roped into a group of students known as the Marauders. Mean Girls!AU. Marauders' Era. Remus/Marlene, Sirius/Marlene
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: Remus is the new kid at school and gets roped into a group of students known as the Marauders. Mean Girls!AU because! I hoped I do a good job with this. It's going to be close to the real thing, but some things will deviate a bit._

_Also a submission for:_

_**The Crayola Colours Prompt Challenge: **Periwinkle - Dumbledore's Office_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter._

* * *

"Thank you so much, Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall," I said as I rose from the chair across from the headmaster in his office, almost knocking over the bowl of lemon drops on his desk. "You won't regret this decision."

There was a twinkle in the old man's eyes as he looked at me, "I don't think I will, Mr Lupin. Though you haven't been able to obtain any formal learning prior to this year, I'm a firm believer in giving people every chance they deserve, especially for those afflicted with ailments beyond their control. And as far as your assessment in your different classes, you were commended by all our teachers. I have no doubt you will enjoy your time here at Hogwarts."

I looked at the old man with sincere gratitude. Since I had been bitten, I had felt like an outcast. Who would want to associate with a monster who changed once a month, able to maim and kill anyone who happened to meet me on a dark night. I had always wanted to go to Hogwarts but Mum had thought it too dangerous for me to be around other students and instead homeschooled me. However, after five years and a discussion with the headmaster, she had finally acquiesced and now I was about to start my first day.

I walked behind Professor McGonagall, the Gryffindor Head of House, to the right side of the room where an old hat sat on a stool. She placed the hat on my head and I almost jumped when I heard a voice ring out in my head.

"_Ah, Mr Lupin, what an unfortunate thing to happen to such a young boy_," the Hat said to me. "_You know how the world views you but there is a large desire to prove you are better than that, you can accomplish a lot more. A fine Slytherin quality indeed. But oh so brave to keep working towards your dreams. You laugh in the face of danger and stand up for those who are prejudiced like yourself. I think you'd do fine in_ **GRYFFINDOR**!"

I saw a smile from Professor McGonagall as she removed the hat from my head, proud to have another student in her house I suppose. Professor Dumbledore spoke up, "I will let the house elves take your trunk to the Gryffindor Fifth Year dorms. Here's your class schedule. Your first class is Potions."


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Remus meets the two greatest people he'll ever meet, Lily and Severus :D, and gets his first impression of the Marauders. Give me your thoughts on the events so far. I'm trying to stay with the movie, while keeping the personalities of the HP characters._

_Also a submission for:_

_**The Lottery Competition: **Mean Girls!AU, following, shudder, "news travels fast", manor_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter._

* * *

Navigating through a hall of teenagers was not my idea of fun. I wasn't used to so many people in one tight place. People walked straight into me, I was sure some on purpose, and there were snickers when I tripped over a boy's extended legs. I had gotten lost three times before eventually finding my way down the many floors from the headmaster's office to the dungeons where the Potions classroom was located.

There was a congregation of students standing outside a closed door. Could this be Potions? I took a breath before I walked straight up to the first person I saw, a tall boy with slick black hair and a green striped tie. "Hello, my name is Remus. I'm new here. Is this Potions?" I asked as politely as possible.

He stared at my hand in disgust. "I don't talk to filth," the boy said haughtily before he turned back to his laughing friends.

I could feel my face flush as I turned away from them. I could just wait around and find out on my own. Thankfully, the door to the room opened then and I spied the cauldrons on the desks within.

I quietly followed the students into the room and was about to take the first empty seat when a girl walked past me and said quickly, "That's Anthony Montague's girlfriend's seat."

Before I could even ask who that was, a snooty blonde haired girl took the seat, dragging the tall boy from before behind her.

Biting my lip and ignoring the looks from the pair, I moved around to another seat before the girl said again, "Not there either. Thomas has a... stomach problem," while pointing to the boy next to the empty seat, who gave me a sheepish look.

She offered the empty seat beside her. I was about to take the chair when the professor asked out loud, "Is there a Remmus Loopin in the class?"

All eyes turned to me, the new kid in the class. The professor just smiled and said, "Remmus has been homeschooled before joining Hogwarts in his Fifth Year, so I hope you all give him a warm welcome." I could see the boy from the front chuckling as his girlfriend giggled behind her hand.

"Pay no mind to them, Remus," the friendly girl said as I finally sat down. She extended her hand to me, "I'm Lily. This one behind me who's acting like a dementor crawled up his arse and died is Severus." The boy gave me a quick glance before putting his head back into his Potions book. His shoulder-length black hair fell in a curtain around his face, hiding him from view. He seemed to be a quiet person, but his friend didn't seem to mind. I looked back to Lily and gave her a smile as I shook her hand. At least I had made one friend.

Potions went by uneventfully and before I knew it, it was over. I withdrew my schedule and turned to Lily, "Could you tell me where the Classroom 65 is. I have Divination next."

Lily gave me a confused look. "Divination? That would be up-," she began but then the boy on her right said, "Sure, we can take you there."

* * *

I followed Lily and Severus throughout the school, so much happier that I had them instead of trying to find my next class on my own. They led me through the large doors out onto the beautiful Hogwarts grounds but eventually they stopped under a large tree near the Black Lake.

"This doesn't look like a classroom," I said, looking about wildly. Had I been set up?

"Classroom 65 was destroyed in the battle between Bodgrod the Brave and Hotrog the Clumsy in 1756," the dark-haired boy said as he laid his sweater down for his friend to sit on. She thanked him as she took her seat.

"So you're making me miss class?" I asked.

"Trelawney's class isn't that important," the boy said with a shrug as he sat next to Lily. I looked to her questioningly. Surely she couldn't be encouraging this behaviour. But she was already laying back with her head up to the sky. "It'll be fine, Remus. Me and Sev usually just study when it's time for exams. Divination is a joke really," she said airily.

I frowned, not happy to already be skipping class on my first day, but I still sat down next to the two. They were the only friends I had right now, and it wouldn't be that bad, right? It was such a lovely day out on the grounds, very different from what I was used to at home. And nothing important would be taught on the first day.

"Where are you from, Remus?" Lily asked.

"London," I said as I brought out a few books from my bag.

"You're a bit old to be just starting Hogwarts," Severus commented, trying to keep the curiosity out of his voice.

"I've wanted to come here all my life and finally got my mother to agree," I said, not wanting to go into too many details. "I've wanted to see magic up close and have friends my own age."

Lily giggled and said, "Well you won't have any problems with that."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"If you haven't noticed, you're kind of cute, Remus," Lily said.

"What?" I asked in amazement. No one had ever called me cute, besides my Mum.

"Yes," Lily continued, "And news travels fast. Once people hear about the cute new kid, you'll have the girls eating out of your hands."

I was about to deny everything when there was a loud laugh heard across the grounds. Lily raised her head to look in the direction of the sound and I noticed a scowl appear on her face. "Figures, the Marauders always know how to ruin a good day," she said.

"The Marauders?" I asked as I watched the boy laugh again. He was walking with his friends across the grounds with a large gathering of students around them. He tossed his head back with all the students hanging on his every word.

"They think they're the best thing to ever set foot into the castle," Lily said in disgust.

"That one there is Peter Pettigrew," Severus said as he pointed to a small round boy that was looking wildly between the laughing boy and all the students around. His short blonde hair fell across his watery eyes as they just took everything in. "Dumbest post ever."

"Severus had to help him in Potions last year," Lily began but was interrupted by Severus. "He burnt water," he said with a shudder, probably remembering some of the more horrible moments of his time with the smaller boy.

"That one there is James Potter," he continued as he pointed at the laughing boy, who was now practically jumping up and down in his story-telling.

"He's super rich because his dad's an Auror and his mum owns a clothing line," Lily explained. "And the Potters have always had money."

"He knows everything about everyone," Severus added with a frown.

"That's why his hair is so messy. Can't contain all the secrets," Lily said with a slight smirk.

"Lastly, there is evil in human form, family known for being dark though he was put in Gryffindor and not Slytherin: Sirius Black," Severus said about the remaining boy. He was currently unconcerned with his friend's story and more concerned with flirting with two pretty girls in the group.

"He may seem like a typical arrogant, man-whore but he is so much more than that," Lily said as she glared at him.

"Pettigrew just blends in, hardly see him if not for those two buffoons. It's tie between Black and Potter for the group leader, though Black certainly thinks he's the star," Snape said.

"How do I begin to explain Sirius Black?" Lily mused.

"Did I hear you say 'Sirius Black'?" a random student asked as she happened to walk by with her friends.

"He's flawless," one remarked, practically swooning on her feet.

"He has two houses, a manor in Wiltshire and a cottage in Surrey, and a Cleansweep 8!" a boy said in awe.

"I heard his hair is insured for 10,000 Galleons," one girl said, causing her friends to squeal.

"One time Sirius punched me in the face. It was awesome," the boy said, placing a hand on his cheek.

"And that is Sirius Black," Lily finished when she was finally able to get the gaggle of younger years away from them.

I looked back at the group of boys and their adoring fans. Peter Pettigrew, James Potter and Sirius Black. The Marauders.


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Remus personally meets the Marauders and Lily and Severus hatch a plan :D._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter._

* * *

Eventually, Lily and Severus had to get to Charms while I had a free period so I decided to go to the Great Hall for lunch. Having passed it on the way out to the grounds, it was easy to find the large room full of food. The whole room was abuzz with chatter of students from all four houses. I made a beeline to the end of the table of students wearing the same tie as mine, however, on my way over, someone purposely bumped into me. I looked into the face of the snooty boy from Potions.

"Watch it, filth! I just took a shower this morning," he sneered at me.

I was about to say something back to him when someone spoke up from the end of the Gryffindor table, "Is this slimy git bothering you?"

I turned to see the boy named Sirius glaring at the green-tied boy in front me, though he spoke to me.

"Get out of here, Montague, before we make you," Sirius continued, while the messy-haired boy nodded in agreement and the small boy looked away from the altercation.

Montague met Sirius' glare and then turned back to me and said, "You're not even worth the effort, filth. Just watch where you're going next time." Then he shoved into my shoulder one more time before he walked away.

Outwardly, I stared at his retreating back until he left through the large doors, but inwardly, I released the breath I was holding. Not that I wasn't about to speak up for myself, but I was happy I didn't have to. I didn't know what the boy was capable of and didn't want to find out.

I was about to walk down a bit further down the Gryffindor table, when Sirius asked, "Hey, why don't you sit with us?"

I cast an awkward look down the table, seeing the glorious empty seats a few feet away. It would look so horrible now if I made a run for it after he offered, and I couldn't pretend I didn't hear. So I just took a seat next to the small round boy and across from the two grinning group leaders.

"Why don't we know you?" James asked as he began to study my face and body, taking in every scratch and faded scar.

"I'm Remus and I just started this year," I said softly.

"If you're new, why aren't you eleven like the first years?" Peter asked bluntly as he looked at me in confusion, maybe trying to see if I was actually just a mature-looking preteen.

"You can't just say that, Peter. You don't know if Remus is retarded or something," James scolded as Peter looked away.

"Actually, I've been homeschooled and finally convinced my Mum to let me go to Hogwarts this year," I explained, feeling a bit uncomfortable across from Sirius who had yet to let his smile drop.

"That is so fetch!" James said with a grin.

"What?" Sirius asked with a laugh, but gave James an odd look.

"Fetch," James repeated. "Mum uses it all the time. It's very popular in France and Spain."

"Well then it should stay there," Sirius said finally, before he turned back to me. "That's very interesting, Remus. You must be very smart to have joined us Fifth Years," he complimented.

"Thank you," I said with a broad smile, feeling like I met a second set of friends.

"So you agree then?" Sirius asked.

"What?" I asked.

"You think you're very smart?" Sirius asked.

I was at a lost for words now. I thought I was smart, who wouldn't think highly of themselves but the way Sirius said it, I felt there was something more to the question.

Sirius just smiled when I didn't answer and then turned to whisper something into James' ear. I looked towards the doors of the Great Hall, wondering if I could just grab an apple and make a run for it. There I saw Lily and Severus entering. They caught my eyes and Lily gave me a shocked look while looking pointedly between me and the boys around me. I shrugged and gave her a helpless look.

"Remus!" Sirius said, drawing me away from the pair at the doorway. "James and I have decided to let you sit with us."

"Ummm, great?" I said, unsure if this was a great thing or not.

Peter just looked between the two boys, having been left out of the decision, but then he nodded along and gave me a friendly smile. "On Wednesdays at dinner, we wear pink."

At my raised eyebrow, James gave me a dazzling grin said, "It's very in in France right now."

Sirius chuckled and added, "And we're the Marauders. We can pull off anything."

* * *

"What were you doing with them?" Lily all but screamed when I was able to separate from the Marauders without looking disrespectful. She had quickly grabbed me as I stepped into the hallway and into the nearest bathroom.

"They invited me to sit with them and I panicked. Now they want me to sit there all the time," I said, looking towards Severus for some help in diffusing the bomb that was Lily Evans.

"You have to do it," Lily said.

"What?" Severus and I said at the same time. "You want Remus to become a Marauder?" Severus said, venom practically dripping off the last word.

"Yes," Lily said. "You hang out with them and then you come to us and tell us everything they talk about, especially about Sirius."

"But they seem nice, and Sirius isn't that bad," I began. I couldn't place the person Lily described to be earlier with the boy I just met.

"Sirius Black isn't nice!" Lily screamed. "He ruined my life!"

"Why do you hate him?" I asked. There was obviously something deeper between Lily and Sirius.

"In first year, Black.." Severus began but was quickly quieted by a fiery glare from the redhead. "We never talk about that again! You promised."

Severus bit his lip and stepped out of her line of fire. Lily then turned back to me, "It's not about hating him. It's just an experiment, in the interest of learning."

I looked into Lily's face and then into the mirror at myself. I was plain and shy, nothing really special. I didn't have much social experience and if they ever found out about me...

"What would I even say?" I asked Lily.

"Quidditch is all James talks about," Severus offered.

"Black is actually smart when it comes to subjects that interest him, though few and in between," Lily added.

"And they love to play pranks on everyone," Severus spat.

I sighed. Lily was looking at me so hopefully, and though Severus hated them as well, he would do anything Lily wanted, so I was outvoted two to one. "Ok, I'll do it. By the way, do you have anything pink?"

Lily just smirked and said, "I can colour one of Sev's shirts for you."


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: Remus sees Marlene for the first time and has his first official meal as a Marauder :D. This thing is turning out longer than I thought it would. I'm already at chapter 4 and I have just finished introducing all the characters. Maybe I could make the chapters longer (though I hate long chapters). On with the show._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter._

* * *

I had Arithmancy for my last class of the day. It was my favourite subject: the numbers, the probabilities, the predictions and the fact that it was challenging. Arithmancy never judged and it never lied. There was one right answer and I loved the feeling I got whenever I was right.

I was listening intently to Professor Vector as she wrote on the board, trying to make sure I didn't miss a thing, when someone tapped my elbow. "Do you have an extra quill? My nib broke."

I turned to the right and froze as I looked into the most friendly, brown eyes I'd ever seen in my life. The girl's short black hair framed her face perfectly as she gave me a wide smile. She held the broken quill up and repeated her question, "So, do you have one?"

I gave her a goofy smile as I handed her the quill in my hand, "Sure, you can have this one."

She smiled and said thank you before simply turning back to her notes. I dove into my bag, searching for another quill, only to realize all my others were left in my school trunk. So instead of looking like an idiot and asking back for my only quill, I just sat in class, half-listening to Professor Vector as I stared at the black-haired girl beside me.

* * *

I ran into Lily after class where she handed me a broody-looking Severus' shirt now coloured pink. "Here you are, my dear," she said. "Sorry it's a bit small. Sev is a bit smaller than you but he refuses to let me enlarge it."

I shrugged as I held it against my body. It would be a bit difficult to get it over my head but not too bad. "Thank you, I-" I began but then she hastily shoved me into the nearest bathroom.

"You're going to be late. They always have dinner together at 6:03," she shouted through the door as I changed.

* * *

With how carefree they seemed to be, I did't think being a Marauder had so many rules. Sirius was looking down the end of the Gryffindor table while James was listing them off from his head.

"... you can't come into the Great Hall without one of us beside you, so wait by the doors if you need someone. And you can only wear the sweater vest look once a week, so I guess you've used up yours today," James explained as he looked down at my vest over the pink shirt. "If you break any of these rules, you can't sit with us anymore. They're for your own benefit, really. We help each other out and give each other advice, so you wouldn't do anything without consulting the group first, right?"

"I wouldn't?" I asked, still trying to remember everything James had just said.

"Exactly," James said with a smile. "Same thing with the girls around here. There are certain things you need to know about each one before you try anything with them."

"Like them," James said, gesturing to Lily who was having a silent conversation with Severus across the room. "Evans is cute but she hangs around with Snivellus all the time, who is greasier than a stick of butter, thus making her unappealing. You don't want to stay around her or other girls may get the wrong impression."

Sirius then suddenly got up and walked across the room to sit next to a pretty Hufflepuff girl, leaving the three of us alone.

"So, do you have your eyes set on any girls yet?" James asked.

The image of the smiling girl from Arithmancy flashed into my mind as I looked between James' and Peter's inquisitive face. "There's this girl who sits next to me in Arithmancy with short black hair and brown eyes. I think she was in Ravenclaw," I said.

"Marlene!" James said. "No, you can't fancy Marlene! That's Sirius' ex-girlfried, the one he really fancied."

"They went out for an entire year, the longest of all of them," Peter added while he shook his head.

"And he was devastated when they broke up after our DADA exam," James said.

"But wasn't he with Mary at that time as well?" Peter asked.

"That's not the point, Pete. Remus, ex-girlfriends are just off-limits to friends. It's part of the bro-code." Then he leaned in and said, "I won't tell Sirius about you and Marlene. It'll just be our little secret," James said as Peter nodded along with him.


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: Remus learns of the Marauder's 'Little Black Book' and Remus, Lily and Severus hatch a plan._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter._

* * *

When dinner was finished and the dishes magically disappeared, I followed the Marauders out of the Great Hall and to the Gryffindor common room, giving Lily a quick wave as I exited through the large hall doors.

"Look," James said, nudging Sirius as we walked up the stairs to the Gryffindor Tower. "Is that Justin talking to Pamela? She was supposed to owl me but never did. Now I see why."

I looked ahead to the see a blonde-haired Ravenclaw I could only assume was Pamela talking to a tall Hufflepuff boy. She was cute but James could easily find another girl.

"James, I'm sure she," I began but Sirius quickly took his wand and said, "Don't worry, mate. I got this."

Before I even realized what was happening, Sirius had aimed his wand at the Hufflepuff boy's back. The blonde-haired girl screamed and ran as huge boils erupted all over his face. He screamed himself before running in the opposite direction towards the Hospital Wing.

I turned towards Sirius, ready to admonish him but he was doubled over on the floor, James right beside him. They both got up and James clapped Sirius on the back. "Thanks, mate. Now let me go comfort a damsel in distress. Be back in a moment," James said as he ran in the direction Pamela went.

Sirius then turned to me and said, "This is the Marauder way, Remus. We look out for each other."

I said nothing as I let Sirius continuing leading me to the common room. What could I say? It seemed that this was Sirius' way of dealing with things and I didn't want something like that to happen to me. Though I didn't approve of the pranking, I tried to look at the good side of things and it was nice to know that these guys would do anything to have my back.

* * *

We walked a bit until we came upon a portrait of a large woman in a pink dress. "Password?" she asked.

"Come on," Sirius said, "You've known us for five years."

"Password, Mr Black?" she repeated.

"Hello guys," a tall Gryffindor boy said to them.

"Hello, Frank," James said as he let the boy talk to the portrait. James leaned over and whispered into my ear, "Frank is the head boy."

"Thank you, Mr Longbottom," the large woman in the portrait said as she swung outwards. Frank held out his hand before he let them enter.

I was in awe as I looked around the cosy room decorated in reds and golds. There were many bookcases against the walls, students already sitting at tables reading and playing Wizard's chess and a large fireplace between two staircases.

"You must be Remus," Frank said as he held out his hand to me. "I'm Frank, the head boy and you're new best friend."

I gave Frank an awkward smile as he shook my hand. I wasn't used to such forward friendly people. "Over there are the staircases where-" Frank began but was interrupted as Sirius came up behind me and put a hand on my shoudler.

"Don't worry, Frank. We can show Remus around," he said with a large smile while giving Frank a strange look.

Frank just smiled and said, "If you need anything, just as me, right Sirius?"

"That's enough, Frank," Sirius said as he turned me away from Frank and towards the staircase to the left of the fireplace.

"Frank means well, but sometimes he can be a bit overwhelming, if you know what I mean," Sirius said as they climbed the stairs.

"But he lets us get away with anything, which is why we keep him around," James added from behind me.

Sirius pushed open the door to the room marked "Fifth Year" before stepping through.

"This is the dorm?" I asked. Who ever heard of a dorm with a king sized bed? The other three beds around it looked like dolls' in comparison. Near the king bed was also a large armiore, black floor length mirror and a ?

"I brought those from home and Frank doesn't tell McGonagall," Sirius said as he threw himself onto his bed.

I walked a bit closer before noticing a small piece of parchment on the ground near to Sirius' bed. I picked it up and realized it was a small picture of Sirius and Marlene sitting on a large blanket on the grass. His arm was around her and the pair of them were laughing at the person holding the camera. Sirius suddenly took the picture from me and put it in his school trunk.

"Pete, did you hear about the Cannons loss over the weekend?" James asked as I moved over to my own trunk at the foot of one of the other beds.

"It was to be expected, James. The Cannons haven't won a game in months," Peter said as he searched through his own trunk for his night clothes.

"They can dream, can't they?" Sirius said with a laugh before he looked at me and asked. "Do you know who the Cannons are, Remus?"

I froze. I never followed sports, concentrating more on books and studies. I hazarded a guess, "A Quidditch team?"

There was a tense moment before the three boys laughed. "If you can call them that," Sirius commented lightly.

There was a knock on the dormitory door before Frank walked in with a few tall bottles. "Here's the stuff you wanted, Sirius," he said as he handed one to each boy.

I opened the bottle as I watched the other boys do and was suddenly overcome with the strong smell of alcohol. The other boys didn't seem to mind as James and Peter began to chug theirs. "Is this hard liquor?" I asked.

Frank looked at me funny before he grinned and gave Sirius a wink. "He's definitely a keeper. So what's been happening around Hogwarts? Give me the details. I spend so much time with McGonagall, I feel like I miss out on everything."

Sirius gave Frank a pointed look. "Uhh.. Frank," Sirius said from his bed while pointing at the door with the neck of his bottle.

Frank held out his hands and said, "I understand. Goodbye guys, goodbye Remus." He then left the Marauders in their dorm and closed the door behind him.

I took a seat on my bed as I watched the Marauders just chat among themselves, occasionally taking a sip of my drink to fit in. I was here for the experiment. I was here to learn and remember. It wasn't that I was actually interested in what they were saying or anything...

Sirius suddenly went into his trunk and pulled out a well-worn black book.

"I can't believe that thing hasn't been torn to pieces yet," James remarked as Sirius opened it to write down a few things.

I sat up a bit straighter to get a closer look. It definitely looked like it had seen better days and was probably being held together by magic.

Sirius noticed me looking and said, "Lemme show you something, Remus. This is our 'Little Black Book', though it's not just limited to intimate relations but anythin that happens around Hogwarts that we thought deserved to be recorded."

James and Peter nodded as I sat next to Sirius on his bed as he flipped through the book.

_'Hannah Thomas is a whore'_. "Still true," James said.

_'Melanie Graham is a fat virgin'_ "Half-true," Sirius said proudly.

"Really, Sirius?" James admonished as he flipped the page. Sirius just shrugged.

_'Richard Brown made out with a hot dog'_ "That's a day I don't want to relive," Peter said with a shudder.

_'Lily Evans'_ "And Snivellus," Sirius hissed. "I don't get why she hangs around him."

I chuckled as I remembered what Lily had said to me the first day. "He acts as if a dementor crawled up his arse and died," I said outloud.

The three boys looked at me before Sirius broke out in laughter. "That was good. Let's add that," he said as he grabbed his quill.

The smile on my face dropped slightly as I watched him write. Maybe I should have kept that to myself and not given them more ammo against my friends...

* * *

"So they have this ratty black book where they write mean things about all the students here," I explained to Lily and Severus the next day in Potions.

"What did it say about me?" Lily asked as she flipped through her potions book, trying to focus on her potion. Severus wasn't even listening as he muttered the potions instructions to himself under his breath.

I froze before turning to Lily slowly. I didn't want her to feel bad and I couldn't mention the thing about Severus either. "You're not in it," I said, looking into the mouth of my own cauldron.

Lily scoffed. "Typical of Black to leave me out," she said. Then she turned to me, "You have to steal that book, Remus. We could make copies and show everyone that Black is evil."

"I don't steal, Lily. And I'm sure they'll notice that their little book is missing," I said to her.

"There are two kinds of evil people in the world, Remus: people who do evil and people who see others doing evil and do nothing to stop it," Lily said.

"Does that mean I can burn Lisa's horrible mustard-yellow sweater she loves to wear?" Severus asked as he looked across the room at the mentioned girl.

Lily just glared at Severus who shrugged her off, before turning back to me. "Okay then, Remus, don't steal it. But you have to tell me what Black is up to."

"I don't like this 'spying' thing, Lily," I said.

"Don't worry. It'll just be our little secret," Lily said giving me a comforting smile that didn't really help.

* * *

"You're hiding something," Sirius said as I entered the dorms. I hadn't even had time to put down my bookbag before he spoke to me.

He found out my secret. He must have noticed the weird tendency I have to scratch my neck when I'm nervous. Or maybe he knew I was spying on him. Do I start apologizing, groveling, denying everything? "What secret?" I asked as my hand moved to my neck.

"You like Marlene," he said with a shrug. "Look, I don't care really. You can go after her if you want, but let me tell you. She only cares about school, her mum and her friends."

She sounded like very wholesome girl with good morals. "Is that a bad thing?" I asked.

Sirius seemed to not have heard me as he continued, "But if you like her, that's fine. I can talk to her for you if you want?"

I had yet to say anything to her on my own and having someone like Sirius, who was really good with girls, could really help me. "Really? You would do that for me? Nothing embarassing please."

He grinned and said, "Don't worry. I know exactly what to say." Then he leaned in close, "But aren't you mad that James told me?"

"No," I said slowly. I hadn't really thought about how Sirius had found out but I wasn't mad. I mean, I didn't think it would stay a secret, and now Sirius was going to help me.

"Because if you are, you can tell me. He shouldn't have said anything. It was a real asshole move right there."

"No, I'm not mad. Sure, it was kind of assholish, but I'm not mad. He just likes attention and knowing things others don't," I said as I took a seat on my bed.

Sirius smiled and then said loudly, "See, James, I told you he wasn't mad."

I was a bit confused but then James appeared from out of thin air holding a silvery cloth in one hand. He had been standing there the whole time?

"I can't believe you'd say that, Remus. I haven't been anything but nice to you."

I was sure I looked like a gaping fish. James was upset with me and Sirius had obviously set me up.

"Well, we're late for class," Sirius said as he grabbed James and the two left the room.


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N: Marlene invites Remus to a party being held by the Ravenclaws. I was going to make Remus go to the party as a werewolf, but I don't think he likes his wolf side enough to make a joke about it, so I went with zombie (scary and ugly)._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Mean Girls._

* * *

I had already spent a month at Hogwarts, getting to know the Marauders and hanging out with Lily and Severus. The full moon for September came and went, and with a quick excuse of my sick mother (the alibi Professor Dumbledore told me about), the Marauders were none the wiser. I hid out for a week in the Hospital Wing with Mme Pompfrey before rejoining my classes.

With Sirius' blessing, I also tried talking to Marlene more instead of just noticing the way she would scrunch her nose up in thought when she was working on a difficult problem. And things were going pretty good.

There was one day when she asked me for the date.

_"What date is today?" she asked, turning her head slightly towards me but her eyes still focused on her parchment._

_"October 3," I said, as she gave me a curt nod._

Then one time we spoke about the weather.

_"Oh look, it's raining," she remarked while staring out the window near the front of the room._

_"Yeah," I said, looking not through the window but admiring the way her hair flowed down her back in soft, black waves that I wanted to run my hands through._

So you could say things were getting pretty serious between us, but I wanted things to move faster.

I took a deep breath and tapped her shoulder. She turned to me with an inquisitive smile. "I'm totally lost with this problem. Can you help me?" I asked, even though I really wasn't. I had already read this topic in our textbook over the summer but she didn't know that.

She took my parchment and started to look at my working. "Oh you need to factoring in the wind direction in your calculations as well," she said.

Wrong. This spell is intangible so wind as nothing to do with this, I thought, but inside I just looked at her and scratched my neck. "I still don't get what you mean."

"Well you see, the spell needs to travel through a medium and interacts with the environment, so you have to use the value of the wind speed they gave us," she said as she traced a finger across my numbers.

Still wrong. The speed is there to throw us off. "Thanks," I said with a smile.

She turned back to her own parchment then tapped in her quill against her mouth, something she did whenever she was going to say something she was unsure of. But I was still surprised when she said, "Me and my friends are holding a costume party for Halloween for the upper years. You should come," she said. "It's an invite just for you, so don't bring a friend or anything."

I blinked once, twice, before giving her an awkward smile and saying, "I'll be there."

* * *

So I had to find a costume. From what I read, people normally dressed up as scary things for Halloween. So I went all out to get the perfect, scariest costume I could think of. What I didn't realize was Hogwarts didn't do that.

I had kept my idea a secret the entire time, wanting to surprise everyone, including the Marauders, so I got ready in the bathrooms on the First Floor before heading to the Ravenclaw Common Room.

There were so many students packed in this small room. Some were lounging on the couches, some were standing my the drinks table and some were dancing in an area cleared in the centre. I walked around for a bit before I eventually found Peter and James standing by the fireplace.

"Why are you dressed so scary?" Peter asked, jumping away from me as I came up behind him.

I looked down at my outfit. I had gone for the classic zombie as described in my favourite horror stories. I had tattered one of my old dress robes and coloured my skin grey, with large open wounds and bleeding sores. I had large black circles around my eyes and my hair was matted with fake blood and dirt.

"It's Halloween, isn't it?" I asked.

"Exactly," James said, gesturing at himself, Peter and the people around. I looked about, just noticing that no one else was dressed 'scarily'. The girls were dressed in attractive and alluring versions of animals and most of the guys just wore fancier clothes. James and Peter were both wearing plain black dress robes, though James wore a pair of antlers on his head, while Peter wore a pair of mouse ears.

"Ah, you made it," I heard a girl say from behind me, before I was spun around to face Marlene who jumped back a bit at seeing my face. "And you're a zombie," she added.

I smiled awkwardly and said, "I thought this was a Halloween party." She was wearing what looked like her Ravenclaw Quidditch uniform, though she had altered it a bit to show off her shape.

Marlene smiled and said, "It is, and you'd definitely win an award for best costume if we had one." Then she said to everyone, "I hope you all have a good time. I have to get something to drink."

* * *

Sirius was hanging near the drinks table with a few Hufflepuff girls, playfully snapping at the hand of one of them who reached above his head to tug on his black dog ears.

"Didn't anyone tell you you're supposed to wear a costume, not come as yourself," he heard a female voice say from behind him.

Sirius excused himself from the group of Hufflepuffs to turn towards Marlene who was getting herself a butterbeer off the table. He grinned before placing a hand over his heart. "Ouch, that hurts, Marlene," he said, feigning injury.

Marlene rolled her eyes as she uncapped her drink, "You have to have a heart for it to hurt, Sirius."

Sirius scowled down at the girl, before looking away into the crowd. He looked over to where he had left James and Peter, having now seen that someone else had joined his friends. Was that Remus dressed as a zombie? Weird.

He looked back at Marlene to see her looking at Remus as well.

"Oh, you know Remus?" he asked.

Marlene nodded, "Yes, he's cool. I invited him here tonight."

Sirius grinned and said, "Be careful. He really fancies you."

Marlene turned to him in surprise. "Really?" she asked, her face slightly red. "How do you know?"

"He told me," Sirius said. "He's been telling everyone actually, going around school and already telling everyone you're his girlfriend, or as good as. I mean, who could blame him? You're hot."

Marlene had a thoughtful look on her face. She looked over at Remus who gave her a friendly wave. "I don't believe you. Remus is too nice for that."

Sirius shrugged and said, "I'm not saying he's not nice, but he even picked out a promise ring and everything. It's in our dorm right now. He was showing me just last night."

Remus was now doing some awkward imitation of what looked like a hippogriff from this distance, which caused James and Peter to laugh.

Marlene grimaced a bit before looking away from the spectacle and Sirius tried not to smile. Instead, he sighed dramatically and placed a hand on Marlene's shoulder. "I know he's new, but he's my friend. So please, don't think he's weird or anything," he said softly.

Marlene shook her head and said, "Of course I won't. I'll just have to clear up a few things with him."

"That's my girl," Sirius said as he leaned in kissed Marlene, neither of them seeing as Remus left James and Peter and ran out of the common room.

Marlene shoved Sirius off her, putting her hands on his chest and pushing him away. "No, stop. You broke up with me, Sirius, and I heard about you and-"

"Why would I break up with you? You're so hot, Marlene." he said, kissing her again but this time, she didn't push off.

* * *

How could Sirius do this? I thought he was my friend. I thought he was going to help me with Marlene but instead, he's snogging her in front of the whole party. I can't believe I trusted him, believed him. I hated him for getting my hopes up, because there's no way a girl like Marlene would ever get with someone like me when there's someone like Sirius around.

I didn't care about the odd looks I got from passing students with my grey and bloody appearance as I made my way through the castle and to the library, knowing I'd find Lily and Severus there.

_"...and the dead will rise from their graves, seeking revenge on those who have wronged them,"_ Lily read out in an eerie voice to a bored-looking Severus sitting beside her.

"Come on, Sev. You could at least pretend to be interested," she said in her regular voice when he didn't respond.

Severus was about to say something when I came up behind the pair and placed a cold grey hand on Lily's shoulder.

"Aaaaah!" she screamed, scrambling in her chair closer to Severus' upon seeing my scary costume.

After a stern shush from the librarian and Lily had calmed down, I took a seat across from them and placed my head on my crossed arms on the table. "Sirius and Marlene are together now," I grumbled. I pulled my head up and looked into my friends' faces. "Why would he do this?" I asked,

"That's how Black is. He lies. When we were in First Year, he made everyone think that Lily was," Severus began but was interrupted again by Lily.

"Sev! Never again!" Lily screamed, quieting the boy on her right. "We're not going to let him get away with this," she said to me. "It's time to get revenge on Sirius Black."

I nodded in agreement. I was so ready to let Sirius get everything he deserved.


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N: Remus, Lily and Severus begin their plan to get revenge on Sirius Black._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Mean Girls._

* * *

The plan to destroy Sirius Black was to take away the three things that made him tick: his girl, his looks and his friends. I just had to keep his trust and continue hanging out with him and the Marauders like nothing was wrong.

"Marlene wanted to get back with Sirius," James explained as he and I walked to the Great Hall. "She's been thinking about it for awhile and at the party, she approached him. It's not his fault they kissed."

"I know," I said, looking straight ahead as he walked among the crowd of students.

"So you and Sirius are cool?" James asked.

"Of course we are," I said. "Marlene is a big girl and can do what she wants, right?"

We both reached our spot at the Gryffindor table where Peter was already sitting with Sirius and Remus. Sirius and I locked eyes for a brief moment before he turned to Marlene and gave her a sound kiss on the lips.

When they released, Marlene began to blush. Sirius smiled and said, "Isn't she the cutest thing when she blushes, Remus?"

I imagined then and there jumping across the table and pushing Sirius to ground, slamming his pretty face into the ground repeatedly and no one able to stop me. I even imagined the Wolf coming out, picking Sirius up by the front of the robes and throwing him up against the wall, revelling in the fact that he'd pee his trousers in terror.

But this was the real world, where people didn't just attack people for asking simple questions like that.

"Very cute," I said softly, biting the inside of my cheek as I took a seat across from them and between James and Peter. Things had to be dealt with secretly.

* * *

It turned out to be a bit harder than we thought. First we tried to attack his face.

"Here," Severus had said when he gave me a vial of odd-looking white liquid, "It's usually using for treating nasty boils on your back and feet."

I gave it to Sirius later that night, telling him it would prevent his face from breaking out. We thought it would make him smell like feet or have some adverse reaction to his face, but instead, it made his face smoother, creamier and Marlene loved the peppermint smell of it.

Then, I took all his school trousers and cut large holes in the seats to let his boxers show through. Everyone would laugh when they saw the famous Sirius Black's galloping hippogriff boxers.

Sirius entered the Great Hall grinning the next morning, strutting about the school like a fashion model and selling the look, until almost all the boys the school had cut holes into their trousers as well. Lily face-palmed with me on that failure, watching as Peter walked pass us, parts of his bare bum peaking through the holes in his trousers and his underwear.

* * *

"Nothing's working," Lily screamed as she, Severus and I walked out of Potions together. It had been about a month since we started and we had been failing constantly. Then she suddenly stuck her finger into the air. "We have to crack James," she said, "he's Sirius' best mate. Crack him and we unlock everything about Sirius. We need to plan tonight."

I shook my head and said, "I can't. I have to practice this thing with the Marauders for the talent show before Christmas break. We're performing to some song called-"

"God Rest Ye Merry Hippogriffs," Lily and Sev chorused, finishing my sentence for me. "They do that every routine year, and put in their own suggestive lyrics and dance moves."

We had stopped just outside the Great Hall where I usually waited for one of the Marauders. I looked a bit up the Hall to see Sirius walking this way. "Quick, Sirius is coming. Go," I said, moving a bit away as they walked into the large room behind the double doors.

"Why were you talking to Evans and Snivellus?" Sirus asked when he finally reached me, watching the pair separate as they went to their different tables.

"Why would I be doing that? They're so weird. I was just walking from Potions when Evans started talking to me about boring Muggle stuff," I said.

"That girl was always different," Sirius said as he leaned up against the wall. "Evans. We used to be friends in First Year. I know, so weird right? But then later in the year, I started going out with Amelia Graham and Lily was so jealous of her. If I blew her off to hang out with Amelia, she'd be like 'Why didn't you wait for me after class?' and I'd be like, 'Why are so obsessed with me?'

So by the end of the year, we were going to have a party in the Gryffindor common room. And I was like, 'Lily, I can't invite you because you're just a bit too obsessive. I mean, I couldn't have her there like that. She might start glomping on everyone, feeling them up inappropriately and making them have a horrible time. Professor McGonagall had to get involved and it was completely stupid. She went home for the summer and when she came back, she cut off most of her hair and now I guess she's gone even more Muggle this year."

I stood there silently, not knowing what to say or how to feel about what Sirius had just said. This was the story Lily didn't want me knowing. She had been friends with Sirius once but then Sirius thought she was too clingy and made up some story and blew it completely out of proportion?

"Oh, I love that smell. What are you wearing, my dear?" Sirius said to a passing Hufflepuff fourth year as she was heading into the Great Hall.

"Pomme de Terre," she said, while giving Sirius a wink. He winked back at her, causing her to giggle before continuing into the large room.

"It makes me want to gag, like 'Eau de Sewer' really," Sirius said as he scrunched up his nose.

I watched the Hufflepuff chattering excitedly to her friends, chancing a glance ever so often through the open doors at Sirius beside me. She looked so happy that he had complimented her, almost as happy as

_"That's very interesting, Remus. You must be very smart to have joined us Fifth Years," Sirius said to me._

_"Thank you," I said with a broad smile, feeling like I met a second set of friends._

Sirius then looked across the hallway at the small crowd of persons there. "You gonna send someone a candy cane?" he asked.

Hogwarts was having a candy cane treat. People would buy candy canes to give to their friends with little messages if they wanted. I shrugged. I hadn't really intended to do anything with the fund-raiser. "Are you?" I asked.

Sirius laughed and said, "I don't send any. I just get them." Then he got all serious. "So you better send me one."

Then he clapped me on the back, "See you, Remus," before he left and ran off to talk to a Ravenclaw who just stepped out of the Great Hall.

Sirius had Marlene but that still didn't stop him from flirting with every girl that caught his eye. With my jaw set, I walked up to the table manned by the Gryffindor Seventh Year. I was definitely sending one, three actually, and it would be the perfect way to crack James.

* * *

"Candy cane treats!" Frank called out as he entered my Transfiguration class the next day, the one I shared with James. Professor McGonagall stopped her lesson and allowed Frank to walk among the desks.

"Mary, Thomas, Patricia, Remus," he said as he reached into his bag and placed a couple of candy canes on their desks and one on mine.

"And wow, none for you, James," Frank said as he quickly left the room to deliver to the other classes.

James turned to me and asked, "Who's that from?"

_"Thanks for being a great friend. Sirius,"_ I read with a smile.

He grabbed the candy cane from my hands and read the note himself. I could practically see the gears turning in his head. Sirius had left him out. This was definitely the right thing to do.


End file.
